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1. When Everything Was Normal
Before coming here, my favorite thing was to play. I remember the sun warming my face in the park, and how I ran so fast that it seemed like my feet didn’t touch the ground. At home, I built giant castles with my siblings, and our laughter was the loudest music of all.
But one day, the music turned off. I started feeling tired, like I had run a super long race without moving from the couch. Food didn’t taste good anymore and I barely had any appetite. Mom and Dad took me to see a doctor, and then another, and another. Those were strange visits, full of questions I didn’t understand and serious faces. One day, after one of those visits, they told me I had to go to a special place called 'hospital.' I felt like a cold little bug was crawling through my belly. It was an adventure, yes, but one that suddenly made the world feel tiny and gray.
2. The Giant Building and the Smell of Clean
The hospital was a giant building, much bigger than my school. When I walked in, I smelled something strong, a 'clean smell' that stuck in my nose and wouldn’t go away. The hallways were long and very white, and everything shined so much it looked like it was from another planet. I heard strange beeping from machines I had never seen before, and lots of people in white and blue uniforms passed by. I felt really small, like I had shrunk and everything else had gotten giant. It was like entering a new world, with people I didn’t know, strange machines, and rules I didn’t understand yet.
3. My Room with a Window
My hospital room had a big window, but it was nothing like my room. The bed was high and had rails, like baby beds, so I wouldn’t fall off. The nurses always told me with love: 'Don’t move too much' or 'Don’t get off the bed.' I felt a little trapped.
The saddest part was being away from my home. I missed my toys, my bed with my superhero blanket, my school friends, and especially my siblings. The room felt very lonely and quiet without them.
4. The Pokes That Hurt
What scared me the most were the 'pokes.' Every time I saw a nurse with a needle, my heart started beating very, very fast, like a drum in a race. It was something from the outside that went into my body without permission, and sometimes, when it hurt, my head made up that it was a punishment. Was it because I didn’t want to lend my car to my brother? Since I didn’t understand why it was happening, I thought it was my fault. And when they held me still so I wouldn’t move, I felt even more like escaping. My body wanted to shrink and disappear, but their hands told me I couldn’t go anywhere. When it was over, I felt a huge relief, like when you stop holding your breath underwater. But soon after, the fear of when the next poke would come crept back in, and the cold little bug returned to my belly.
5. A Carousel of Feelings
Every day in the hospital was like riding a rollercoaster of feelings. Sometimes I was up, and sometimes I was way, way down.
Sometimes I was very angry: I was angry at not being able to run and play like the other kids. I got angry at being locked up and away from my home and my old life.
Other times, very sad: I missed my family and friends so much that sometimes I felt abandoned, like they had forgotten about me. Sadness was like a gray cloud that didn’t let me see the sun.
And a lot, a lot of fear: At night, I was scared of the strange noises in the hallway and the darkness. I was scared of being alone and not knowing what would happen tomorrow. Sometimes I wanted to be treated like a baby, to be held all the time so I could feel safe.
But I also felt loved: The best part of everything was when Mom or Dad were with me. Their presence was like a magical shield that made everything else less scary. I felt safe and calm.
In the middle of all the sadness and anger, I found little places where I could be a normal kid again.
6. The Playroom and the Hospital Teacher
Inside the hospital, there were two places that were my escape. One was the Playroom. It was a magical place. As soon as I walked in, I forgot I was sick. There were other kids I could play with and share with. Playing doctor with the dolls, I could act out my fears and give them the pokes that scared me so much. There, I relaxed and could handle everything else better.
The other escape was when the 'teacher' from the hospital came to my room. She helped me with my schoolwork, and doing homework made me feel like I wasn’t falling behind. She gave me the hope that soon I would return to my old life, to my school, with my classmates.
7. Mom and Dad Are My Safe Haven
My parents were my safe haven. Their presence changed everything in the hospital.
With Mom and Dad
When they leave
I feel safe.
Fear returns.
The pain seems smaller.
The room feels bigger and emptier.
They read me stories and I feel like I’m at home.
I miss everything from before.
Sometimes, when I hurt a lot, I just need Mom or Dad to hold my hand. Their hand is like a magical medicine that calms everything.
I also thought a lot about my siblings. I missed them a lot and wanted to play with them, but sometimes I felt a little jealous. They could go to school, play in the park, and sleep in their beds every night. Their life was still normal, and mine was on pause. I also felt a little bad because I knew that now they had to help more at home, like they suddenly became bigger.
8. Understanding a Little More
Now, even though I still don’t understand a lot of things, I start thinking differently. I believe that doctors, nurses, and even the pokes that hurt, are here to help me. The medicines, even though sometimes they taste bad, are for my body to get strong again and heal.
I no longer think it’s a punishment. Now I only want one thing: to go home. Go back to my room, with all my toys waiting for me on the floor. Hug my siblings and build castles again. I want everything to go back to how it was before. I want to return to my normal world.
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